Managing Your Emotions

How we deal with emotions is an everyday part of life.  Dealing with emotions within family relationships is vital to successful parenting.  How are you at controlling your emotions?

Click HERE for some tips on managing your emotions.

The Gospel of Peace

Peace and war are polar opposites.  But the two come together in a unique way when we consider the good news of Jesus Christ.  God's "warriors" are to prepare for battle by putting on the shoes of the "gospel of peace." (Ephesians 6:15)

This sounds strange.  Then again, much of what God does and says sounds strange from my human vantage point.  But the closer we look at the life of Jesus the more this makes sense.  Jesus made friends with the rejects of society in his time: people like tax collectors and prostitutes.  Why?

Jesus gives us the answer in Mark 2:17:  "It is not the healthy people who need a doctor, but the sick. I did not come to invite good people but to invite sinners.”  The cast-offs where his targets. He treated them with love.  It worked.  They flocked to him.  They listened to his message and they believed.  So, why is it that so many people are repulsed at the notion of becoming a Christian?  Why is it that the prevailing perception of Christians is so negative?

Could it be that we drive our target audience away by the way we treat them?  Could it be that our judgmental way we treat unchurched people repels them?  God didn't call us to make war with unchurched people.  We are called to deliver the gospel of peace.

Carey Nieuwhof says, "Judgement is a terrible evangelism strategy.  People don't line up to be judged.  If you want to keep being ineffective at reaching unchurched people, keep judging them."  You can read Carey's entire blog post on this subject by clicking HERE.

Peace is our virtue this month in Kids Adventure.  Peace is messy.  Peace calls us to do things like:  stop judging people who don't believe like us, hang out with them, show them authentic love, pray for them.  It's time we change the perception the unchurched has of Christians.  It's time we start acting like the One who gave us our marching orders.  It's time we put feet to the Gospel of...peace!

What's More Important: Competency or Character?

Sounds like an easy question.  Most of us would probably answer "Character."  And you'd be right.  But is that how we really live?  So much of our time is spend developing our competency.  College, internships, conferences, self-help books, coaching, etc.  While competency is important, character is king when passing on a legacy.

Don't be fooled by the bright lights of success.  Most of them shine only on competency.  As yourself, "What am I doing to build my character?"  I'll bet Lance Armstrong wishes he had asked that of himself!

Check out Carey Nieuwhof's blog for more info.

Being vs. Doing

We live in a performance-based society.  Think about it.  Often times the majority of our conversations are about things we do or have done.  It's easy to base things on performance or achievement verses who we are.  

Here's an example...Inheritance.  Most parents want to be successful enough to leave their children a substantial inheritance.  There's nothing wrong with that.  In fact, it is wise to store up what we have for days when we need it most.  However, we can become so preoccupied with giving our children an inheritance that we forget the significance of leaving a legacy.  It's a good reminder that sometimes what I do for my children or give to them isn't nearly as important as what I leave in them.

So, how do you avoid the performance trap?  Here's four things that will shift your paradigm from "doing" to "being":

1.  God must have the highest priority in YOUR life.  Performance, in large part is selfishly motivated.  My accomplishments don't impress God.  God is pleased when I give Him first place.

2.  Imagining the end helps me point my children to God.  Far too often we ask ourselves, "What do I want my child to do?"  This is performance based thinking.  Change the question to, "Who do I want my child to become?"  This is values based.  It's "being", not "doing."

3.  Be your child's spiritual leader.  Spiritual leadership means parents assume the primary responsibility to help their kids take the next step in their pursuit of a relationship with God.

4.  Realize you have a capacity.  You weren't designed to parent all alone.  Your church should be a place that helps equip you with tools to take next steps with your child.  You should be able to find people in your faith community to network with: people who will help say things to your children that you are saying at home.

By the way, these four steps are taken from chapter four of Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof's book, "Parenting Beyond Your Capacity."  Join me for a six week journey into this book at LSCC beginning February 20, from 6:30-7:45 p.m.  If you cannot come to our group then I highly recommend that you read book.

Now, go and BE!

Resolution Revolution

Mike Ashcraft is the senior pastor at Port City Community Church in Wilmington NC.  Mike has an interesting way of looking at new year's resolutions.  He says...

Our resolutions seldom work because they are based on the type of person we’re tired of being rather than who God wants us to become. Plus, resolutions can be “broken,” leaving no room for the process of growth. What if our hopes for the year ahead centered instead on who God wants us to become, and the transformation process?

As we process the value of Determination during the month of January, Mike's encouragement helps us understand that our determination cannot be founded in improving what we don't like about ourselves.  Rather, I must be determined to find who God wants me to be and my determination must drive me to that goal.  When I become who God wants me to be all of the other stuff takes care of itself.

How do we do that?  Well, Mike Ashcraft has developed a simple way to formalize a plan and move ahead.  It all comes down to one word.  That's right.  You can use one word to help you focus on who God wants you to be.  Go to Mike's web site by clicking HERE.

I would like to hear from you.  What is your word?  

Don't get bogged down with resolving to change all the things you don't like about yourself.  Be determined to become who God wants you to be.

Determination...Finish What You've Started

It's always easier the second time.

I'm a golfer.  I love the game.  I hit lots of bad shots.  Occasionally when no one else is around I'll drop a second golf ball down and give myself another try.  Usually, I hit a better shot.  Most things are easier the second time around.

This is true with both positive and negative things.  I learned a great deal about parenting with my first child that made me a better parent with the second.  Sounds like a bad deal for firstborn children but it's true!

Unfortunately, the same can be said about negative things.  The first time I lie about something is much more difficult than the second time.  Compromise is a dangerous game.  It doesn't take long to add up a list of people who've ruined their lives.  Each one of their stories begins with compromise.  

The opposite is true about people who've done extraordinary things.  Moses' story of leadership began by picking up the staff.  Esther's courage led her to take the first step toward the king's chambers to ask for her people's freedom.  Peter dropped his fishing nets and left the family business to become one of Jesus' understudies.  Each of them took a hard first step but kept on going.

This month's family focus at LSCC is Determination: Deciding it's worth it to finish what you've started.  Check out THIS VIDEO.  Don't give up on God's calling for your life.  Work as if you're working for God and not for men. (Colossians 3:23)

What has God asked you to do?  Have you started?  Are you working for His honor?  Are you determined to finish well?  Is compromise creeping in and knocking you off stride?

Remember, Dad/Mom/husband/wife/co-worker/friend/neighbor...you are leaving a legacy.  They are watching you.  More importantly, they are affected by your decisions.  Most of all, you are a part of a living movement that is called to help rescue the perishing.  

Work for God.  Don't give up.  Be determined to finish what you've been called to.

Your Child May Be Your Best Teacher!

It's time to learn...from my child!?

Sounds strange.  Learning life lessons is something we all must do.  Watching for ways to grow and mature is part of the process.  But learning from someone with less maturity and experience than me?

Before you draw a conclusion think about this.  Jesus said we are to "receive the kingdom of God like a little child" in Luke 18:17!  Since this is so, I need to watch how my child goes about her relationship with God.  I'm very sure He can teach me a few lessons from her life.

Recently, one of our families at LSCC was challenged by their son's faith.  He said he wanted to help those homeless people out there who were cold.  So, he said, "Can we collect some blankets to help them stay warm?"  Of course the answer was "YES!"  But it was what happened next that challenged mom and dad.  "Can we ask our church to help?" he asked.

GULP!

You've had those moments when your child's faith surpasses yours.  I have.  So, dad had a moment to ponder what to do.  His conclusion?  Why should I stand in the way of God using my child?  Who am I to stand in the way of my child's faith?

The result - LSCC is collecting blankets for the homeless.  Our goal is to help at least 100 metro area homeless people stay a bit warmer this winter.  All because God moved in a boy's heart and a dad didn't stand in the way.

Over a year ago, Jon Acuff wrote a blog entry on this.  Take a minute to read it.  It may change the way you view your child.  Click HERE!

And the next time your child asks, "Can we help by doing __________ ?"  Listen closely.  God may be growing your faith as well.