Being vs. Doing

We live in a performance-based society.  Think about it.  Often times the majority of our conversations are about things we do or have done.  It's easy to base things on performance or achievement verses who we are.  

Here's an example...Inheritance.  Most parents want to be successful enough to leave their children a substantial inheritance.  There's nothing wrong with that.  In fact, it is wise to store up what we have for days when we need it most.  However, we can become so preoccupied with giving our children an inheritance that we forget the significance of leaving a legacy.  It's a good reminder that sometimes what I do for my children or give to them isn't nearly as important as what I leave in them.

So, how do you avoid the performance trap?  Here's four things that will shift your paradigm from "doing" to "being":

1.  God must have the highest priority in YOUR life.  Performance, in large part is selfishly motivated.  My accomplishments don't impress God.  God is pleased when I give Him first place.

2.  Imagining the end helps me point my children to God.  Far too often we ask ourselves, "What do I want my child to do?"  This is performance based thinking.  Change the question to, "Who do I want my child to become?"  This is values based.  It's "being", not "doing."

3.  Be your child's spiritual leader.  Spiritual leadership means parents assume the primary responsibility to help their kids take the next step in their pursuit of a relationship with God.

4.  Realize you have a capacity.  You weren't designed to parent all alone.  Your church should be a place that helps equip you with tools to take next steps with your child.  You should be able to find people in your faith community to network with: people who will help say things to your children that you are saying at home.

By the way, these four steps are taken from chapter four of Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof's book, "Parenting Beyond Your Capacity."  Join me for a six week journey into this book at LSCC beginning February 20, from 6:30-7:45 p.m.  If you cannot come to our group then I highly recommend that you read book.

Now, go and BE!